In this article, we’re talking cats. Oh yes. Here at the ole ranchero, we appreciate a good farm cat. I know some people are against keeping cats outside, but most of our cats prefer being outside rather than inside the house.

Especially Agent Kitty. We used to call her our high-performance ranch cat. We’d give her kitties away when we didn’t keep them here on the farm, and people loved them. They were good mousers and ratters just like their momma. She could hide under the feed bunk and still catch a starling on the rail, and they wouldn’t know what happened to them.  She lived to be about 16 when she was run over accidentally.  I was so broken-hearted. But she was NOT an indoor cat. One time, the kids were in elementary school and were getting ready for the bus when Levi exclaimed, “Mom! A rat just ran in the laundry room from the mudroom!” You can bet Agent Kitty came in. I fear rodents like no one else. But she spent more time trying to get back outside rather than trying to kill that MOUSE. She hung on the screen door for dear life, and after I let her back outside, she wouldn’t come to me for a whole day.
Then Rosie. We loved her, until we didn’t. She brought her kittens to learn how to hunt in our baby chick pen. Overnight her and the kittens killed 90 baby chicks and didn’t do anything with them but let them lie, which added more fuel to Ron’s fire. That little family was evicted and went to another farm that didn’t have chickens.

We had Tater, who we loved bringing into the house, and he would curl up in a box we put blankets in. The dogs trained him, and when he had to go to the bathroom, outside he went. It was so funny. After six years, he moved on. Personally, I think he went to the neighbors. He liked to roam, even though we fixed him. We haven’t seen him since.

Now, there’s a run of black cats here. The mother is about 7 years old, and her name is Momma Ken, a direct descendant of Agent Kitty (my kids name the cats…I get no say in this). Well, for the last week, she’s been in heat. She howls this mournful howl, 24/7. For the past week, she’s been howling by our bedroom all night long. As a rule, we don’t keep boy cats, or if we do, we get them fixed. So, there was nothing for her here…until her mournful meows reached two of the oddest pair of boyfriends early last night. Ron was sitting in the recliner and said, “Well, we got some new cats.” All I could think of was how we might get a good night’s sleep for the first time in days. I looked at them and giggled. There sat a large tuxedo and right next to him, a small tabby cat, that was literally half his size. I don’t know if the big one was trying to show the little one the ropes or if he just had him there for moral support. But as Momma Ken was howling and writhing in the grass, not five feet from them, they looked at each other, got up, and walked away. Like, “nope.”

Is there a moral to this story? Again, nope. Just funny catty things happening at the Fairchilds, wanting some mousers in fall, not sure if we’ll get any, because of our weirdo female feline.
Until next time,

Fairchild “Momma Ken, that’s not a good look” Farmgirl


Suzanne Fairchild is a freelance writer who lives on a farm in southwest Minnesota with her husband and children. She can be reached at rmf@itctel.com. 

Do you remember me writing that May was going to be crazy? Well, here we are in the thick of it. Guess what? My ADHD brain loves every little bit of it. So, we got through Cody and Laura’s beautiful wedding, which was amazing.  This past weekend, we celebrated Levi with an early graduation party at the Gary Legion.

Up until the week before, I was stressed out about how we would decorate. In the past, we’ve always had some sports things, FFA, or other groups to show off on the tables at the party. Levi likes three things that we could display somehow: football, trap shooting, and working. Ron and I giggled as we walked around the place, looking for ways we could make centerpieces for the party. “Well, you know how he collects junk, maybe we can use that.” He wasn’t wrong! As Ron walked past Levi’s old boat with the light hanging off it, he said, “We could put this old light as a centerpiece!” We decided against that but did pick up three old center hubcaps from his Chevy pickup and an old console from the same vehicle. “This will be where people can put his cards!” Ron said excitedly. So, a lot of scrubbing ensued, and by the party, we had a lot of stuff to put out. It was fun, our centerpieces ended up being antlers from his shed hunts, spent shells that had notches in the plastic to hold pictures, and “ditch bouquets” which had blooming plum branches, dried grasses, dogwood, leafed out branches, and pheasant feathers – they were beautiful!

In other news, Caio; our foreign exchange student, came downstairs last night with a sad look in his eye and said, “One more Sunday.” I thought, what in the world is he saying?’ Then I realized what he meant. His parents are coming to spend time with us, and then they’re taking him back to Brazil. We are throwing him a surprise party on the Friday before he leaves. I’m not worried about him reading this…he has no idea I even write for the paper. But it’s going to be great for his family to meet his friends and our neighbors.

As for me, I’m happy school is going to be over for the year. I have some interesting summer plans for myself, for one, the farmers’ market in Watertown (I love that market). I am going to see what it will take to turn my old liberal arts degree from Minnesota West into a business degree. If that’s the case, Levi and I will be at the same school (well him in Pipestone). For now, let’s just get through the graduation ceremony. We’ll deal with everything afterwards.

Until next time,
Fairchild “congrats seniors!” Farmgirl

Suzanne Fairchild is a freelance writer who lives on a farm in southwest Minnesota with her husband and children. She can be reached at rmf@itctel.com. 

Well readers, it’s 13 days until my son marries his sweetheart, and besides not having the shoes that I’ll wear, I’m ready for this shindig.  Having said that, I’ve done a lot of reflection lately, and I’ve come to this realization.

I’m old.
This isn’t even because some of the middle schoolers at work are calling me “Grandma Fairchild,” which they claim is only because they want me to bring homemade cookies in for science class, and “that’s what grandmas would do,” hence the name. I gave them boys a hard look and said, “so, me not being a grandma yet, but just called that because of a lame – o cookie reason and not the obvious ‘gray hair’ reason, is going to get me to bring you in a treat? I don’t think so.” Whatever, they know I love them like my own kids, and I’ll totally bring them a goodie one of these days.
I digress.

Seriously! This wedding brings me closer to being a real grandma and further away from the drunken bonfire nights of my younger years. Am I going to sit there and be okay with that? Let me think about this, do I have a vote? Not really.

Are my first 50 years dissolving away like a sugar in a cup of tea? And PS, even that analogy makes me old…who even drinks tea unless they’re old as dirt? Kidding…I love my tea drinkers out there.

Also, the fact that next month, my darling Grace graduates college and my spit fire Levi graduates high school, isn’t helping. These chickies are leaving the nest at an astounding rate! The other day I was cleaning the house, cursing under my breath as I cleaned up after the kids who still lived at home and started to think. I stood there for a minute, sweating and out of breath like a chubby mom who’s been spiffing all day, and with the empty granola box on the floor, literally next to the garbage can, I realized two things. First off, when they are out on their own, I’m coming to their house, walking through their home with muddy shoes and throwing garbage “next to” the garbage can and leaving towels and dirty socks on the bathroom floor. Oh, also spilling shampoo in the bathtub and not cleaning it up. That right there is a serious chubby lady hazard. I got in the shower and thought I was going to break my other hip.

Even though I face messes on the daily, have words with my kids sometimes when I’m wanting them to do their chores, and having them expect me to drop whatever I’m doing to help them, I love those turkeys. And they’re not all bad all the time…they have a lot of good qualities. Also, I inundate them with Facebook reels and TikToks that only a chubby old lady would laugh at, so I guess were even.
Moral of the story? I can’t remember, I’m old and forgetful. Kidding. But I will say, love on your kids…you’ll only hav’em for 18 years. Isn’t that crazy to think about?

Fairchild “what in the world did I just step in? TEEEEDDDD!

Get down here and clean up your mess! Farmgirl

Suzanne Fairchild is a freelance writer who lives on a farm in southwest Minnesota with her husband and children. She can be reached at rmf@itctel.com. 

Hold on a minute while I mentally prepare for these next two months.  Yes, I know, I do this to myself and I couldn’t be more excited!  Here’s my play by play if you care to follow along.

So far in March, I had a sculptural needle felting class in Adrian, MN.  I love that librarian, and to those of you who came to the class and said you like reading my column, that made my day!  Next month I have a class in Worthington and Glenwood, as of right now.  This year I’m teaching “Painting with Wool” where we do a beautiful scene out of wool.  If that sounds interesting, sign up for Worthington or let your local library know!  I’ve taught classes because of my readers spreading the word and it’s great!  I’m working on a campaign to get into all the state’s libraries. Wouldn’t that be something!?!

Work is great, but I’m also looking for a summer job (since there’s no school) and I’m applying at temp agencies. I’ve loved owning my own business, but you know it’s pretty great getting a steady paycheck – not going to lie.  I’ll still keep up my website and the farmers market and classes, but I want someone else to worry about things for a while.  I want to go somewhere for 8-9 hours, work super hard and leave it at the door. That’d be grand!
We’re also gearing up for our sweet eldest son’s wedding next month. That’ll be a fancy shindig in Sioux Falls. I’m going to be honest, I’ve thought about dropping 40 pounds to get into a dress, but obviously not tried hard enough. The weight is still there and doesn’t have plans to leave my body anytime soon. I mean, working out?  I’m shot after work.  The couch calls and I head to it like a moth to a flame. In all seriousness, I need a dress, like yesterday. Ron needs a suit too. Can you imagine it? Us fancy? I am pretty excited for that.

While doing this, I have to brush up on my nonexistent Portuguese (so yes, I need to learn it). His dad messages me in Portuguese now and thinks it’s funny. Because our foreign exchange student’s parents are coming from Brazil on May 18 and the mom doesn’t speak English. My Google Translate is going to get a workout and I CANNOT wait to tell you all about it! After all they’re staying for five days, truly, I think it’s going to be a blast. I’m planning a party for it.

Okay, so my article has moved into May, but I have to share with you a sneak peek about that too. Levi graduates high school! So this hit me the other night…no more Levi after August. But, he’s going down to your neck of the woods, MN West Pipestone. If you see a 1996 Topaz painted Alice Chalmers Orange with a light bar on the top (he bought that car for $2) or a black pickup with a slight lift and a sign that says “baby on board” (he thought it was funny not a grandma yet), that’s my sweet boy. If you’re a momma; hug him for me and tell him to eat healthy. If you’re a grandma, he loves chocolate zucchini cake with chocolate frosting (it’s got a vegetable in it). If you’re a dad and your daughter brings him home, you are so lucky! He’s got a work ethic like no other and he goes to church on Sunday. If you’re a grandpa, he loves to work on projects and will help you with anything, but may want to hunt on your land so don’t be surprised when he asks.

That very same day, our Grace graduates from Lakes Area. She’s already got her job which is so cool. She’s one smart cookie and is so much fun.  She gets married next May. But we’ll talk more about that next year!

Until next time,
Fairchild “Fale logo!” Farmgirl
(Your turn to use Google translate)
 

Whew! Back from Black Hills Stock Show! I bet you’ve got questions. Let’s answer some that I get on a regular basis at shows that I do:

Question 1: “Are you crazy? That’s a ton of people to have to deal with all day long for eight solid days.” That came from my husband, since we’re not feeding cattle anymore, he was able to come out the first weekend. Needless to say this wasn’t his thing, and he was excited to get home. He couldn’t believe the vast amount of people who would stop by my booth to make purchases or just to visit.

Question 2: “Do I carve the images on my soap?” For those of you who’ve never seen my soap, it has cow/calf pairs, goats, sheep, and horses on them. People seem a little disenchanted when I tell them I just pour my soap batter into a mold, but as I brought out 1,000 bars to sell, it’d take a long time to carve all of them. And also, if I did that, I’m going to raise my prices. Hand carved soap doesn’t come cheap.

Question 3: Do I milk my own goats? We used to. Then the kids started getting more animals of their own, and I was also sick of the goats getting out and eating the garden, jumping on everything and eating the seat of the side by side. So now I buy my milk from a kid that raises dairy goats.

Question 4: Do you raise your own sheep? Again, we used to. However, when prices were really good, we sold the flock. Now, I buy wool right off the farm. I buy large quantities then scour it in Texas and mill it in eastern Wisconsin. Then Ron and I go out and get it and have a date night on Lake Michigan. It’s pretty awesome.

Question 5: Are you a reseller of goods? I actually got asked that a few times this trip to the Stock Show because for some reason people thought I’d like to sell their products at shows. No. Well, I do sell crocheted washcloths that I buy from a friend but that’s it. I usually have enough inventory of my own.

Question 6: Can you give me your recipe so I can make my own? This floors me every time I hear it. I’ve started saying, “Only if I can come to your work and try to steal your job from under you.” People! Why would I share a recipe that I’ve developed over years? The sad thing is, many of those asking aren’t joking.

Which brings me to question 7: How long does it take you to make all this stuff? I try to work on it about 2-3 nights a week. So not terrible. But I also sell on Etsy, Shopify and Faire Wholesale so at times I’m restocking and sending out right away again.

Question 8: Are trade/craft/stock shows worth the hassle? They can be. If you like people, believe in your product and can set up a nice display, that’s half the battle. One year I let myself have only one weekend a month off and I had others run booths for me, so I could maximize my reach. Was that worth it? No. If you have someone that doesn’t know or know how to sell your story/brand, don’t bother. It may end up hurting you in the end.

Question 9: Is your whole business worth the hassle? Selling online, new product development, actually making the product, taking photos, working on my website, writing up directions for my kits, dying wool, making connections with stores, customers, taxes…can be exhausting. But this business allowed me to stay home and raise my kiddos until my youngest was in the seventh grade. I call that a win. Has it been tough? Yes. Long hours after everyone else is in bed is tough, missing kid’s events or being away from the husband and family because I’m at a trade show stinks. But in the end, the money has helped. I also have met many friends.

Question 10: Are you going to quit this anytime soon? Not sure. I’ve got some great customers and friends I’ve met along the way. But to be honest, I have been thinking about it. The road miles, the hotel and airbnb stays, the late nights, and honestly the weirdos-yes weird people at shows especially the free shows (someday I’ll elaborate on this)…it’s a lot for this gal. Time will tell, but I’m glad to be back home for now. Quitting writing for papers? NEVER!

Until next time,
Fairchild “if you need me, I’ll be in my recliner” Farmgirl

Suzanne Fairchild is a freelance writer who lives on a farm in southwest Minnesota with her husband and children. She can be reached at rmf@itctel.com. 

Happy New Year friends! I hope you are having a great start to this 2026! In case you’re wondering, our Christmas was pretty fun. As every year, we finish gift opening and guests and older kids go to their own houses and Ron and I look at each other and talk about how we need a bigger house. With boyfriends, a husband and one fiancé, we had 15 kids here. We loved every minute.

With being a school employee, I had a great break. I took two classes, one for Microsoft Office (Excel and Word) and one for Customer Care. I’m trying to be the best business per-son and a good business person too.

Then Friday after Christmas hit. With three days left out of ten of break, I got super sick. I had the worst cold and stuffed up head. My theory? I was out in the trenches of buggars, too little personal space and spit flying at work, and I get home and that must have been the time that the virus manifested. Like when you were in high school science and you had just set up the experiment and the teacher says, “now put it in a warm safe and dark place so the ingredients of the experiment can work it’s magic.

Luckily I just finished my week of work up and I do feel a lot better, and I’m on meds for a sinus infection. The funny thing was, I was laying in bed thinking about all you guys as my readers, with an insanely stuffed up head, for example, my nasal passages were actually like a vacuumed sealed tight. It was crazy. But there I was, with NyQuil, doTERRA oils on my feet, I ate enough garlic to kill a vampire and Vicks covering my neck, feet, head, (but not my nose….Ron said, “don’t put it by your nostrils, I heard it can give you brain damage.” Honey, I was so clogged up that the jaws of life couldn’t get half an inch up my nose). And personally sudden brain damage would’ve given me  a few more days at home to recuperate.

Anyway, I remember laying there in my bed with about ten blankets covering me as I chuckled at the funny article I was going to write about me feeling so awful. It was the only solace I had, because literally everything else was so terrible.

But as a 51 year old lady with a 51 year old brain, do you think I could remember what I was going to write about? Nope. It had to be good because I can remember not falling asleep, fighting the NyQuil, giggling quietly as not to wake up Ron.

Next time I’ll get my butt outta bed and write it down. I promise…that is if I can remember that I should

Until next time,
Fairchild “full of vinegar and brain fog” Farmgirl

Suzanne Fairchild is a freelance writer who lives on a farm in southwest Minnesota with her husband and children. She can be reached at rmf@itctel.com.